


Friends of a Feather

by eons_spirit (fox_an_hound)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Like, M/M, Teacher AU, hopefully mostly fluff, just a whiff, least liked teacher theon, most loved teacher robb, salt bae some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:25:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fox_an_hound/pseuds/eons_spirit
Summary: Theon and Robb have been friends for ages and working at the same school has only solidified their relationship. Practically attached at the hip, that's just how they roll.The holidays are coming and that means ever ending bro time.Best buds do everything together. Everything.





	Friends of a Feather

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cotton_socks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cotton_socks/gifts).



> This is a secret santa gift for cotton_socks!

“So, once again, Jupiter is basically the reason things get screwy in this story.” Robb sighed, throwing Grey Wind’s ball up into the air again. The bell rang and Robb startled, legs falling off the corner of the desk that they had taken residence before his companion grumbled at him and the tennis ball bopped him on the top of his head.

“Oh man, is class over already?” He looked out at the sea of fleeing high schoolers, belongings already packed and the only thing in their way: Grey Wind, laying on his back with his feet up and against the door like a slightly smaller, much furrier Roman emperor waiting to be doted on.

“Oh, ok,” Dejected for a moment, Robb straightened his glasses and his thoughts, “Um, don’t forget to do your homework! Grey Wind, come on, let these guys leave.”

Yawning and stretching, Robb’s hound pulled himself to his feet and shambled over to plop down again at Robb’s feet, he chuckled “I don’t know why you’re acting so lazy right now, you’ve done nothing but sleep all day.”

“Bye Mister Stark! See you next time - oh, sorry Mister Greysor- Greyjoy.”

Robb looked up at his student’s fumble and smiled when he saw his coworker standing in the doorway. He stood up hurridley, accidentally kicking his chair to the floor and having to turn around and pick it up while trying to ignore the snickers of his lingering students.

Once all the high schoolers were gone from the class and Robb’s chair was back where it was supposed to be, he turned to his doorway again, to see Theon still standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall.

“Spend the lecture talking about Zeus fucking everything up again? Did he get someone pregnant?” Theon finally swaggered into the room and moved over to Robb’s desk.

“Greyjoy! This is a high school! Watch your language please.” Snickering at Robb’s admonishing Theon hopped up on the desk and grabbed something to fiddle with. “What are you doing here? I would have thought you would have been gone as soon as you could leave.”

“Why would I leave? I love my job.” Theon mumbled, holding something else up to his eye, “And I’m going to steal your dog one of these days.” Before Robb could interject, Theon picked Robb’s phone up to start taking selfies of himself, “And you owe me food.”

“I owe you what? How?” Robb reached forward, trying to swipe his phone away only to be pulled into a series of photos himself, “I’m deleting these as soon as I get that phone back.” Robb grumbled, leaning into his friend and just letting it happen even as the proximity skewed his glasses on his face.

“Grey Wind ate my sandwich yesterday, so you need to buy me food to make up for it.” Theon dropped his hold on Robb and started looking through the photos he had just taken, “Also what are we doing this weekend? Wanna see a movie or something?”

“I gave you half of my lunch yesterday after you _gave_ Grey Wind your sandwich, but sure I can buy dinner today - what were you thinking?”

Robb ran his fingers through his hair and fixed his glasses before moving back behind his desk to start packing his things up. Muttering under his breath and stepping around Grey Wind, Robb was sure to pack any late papers that needed grading and fresh red pens, “Ok this was the last week left before break and I need to make sure Robyn and Kelsey turn in their projects when we get back - let me write a note about that.”

“Mister Stark? Oh, sorry.”

Robb looked up, heart already aching at the sound of sniffling and dropping his notepad on his desk. There was a young student at the door with her makeup running down her face, looking like she was about to run away.

“Sorry for bothering you, I can go-”

“Don't be silly, come on in.” He moved closer to her, the fact that he was about to leave already out of his mind so that he could focus on the student before him. “Do you need anything? You can close the door if you'd like.”

She looked down the hall one last time before coming in and closing the door behind herself, “Sorry, I just. I didn't know where to go.” She moved to sit down in one of the chairs, holding her backpack close to her body.

Robb tsked as Grey Wind pulled himself to his feet and shambled over to the distressed girl, nudging his nose against her leg much to her surprise. “I'm sorry about him, he's….”

Shaking her head, she reached out until her fingers were buried in the thick fur of the dog's neck, “It's ok.”

Robb glanced over at Theon to see him looking at him over the stolen phone before nodding and hopping down in order to pack the rest of Robb's things away, “I'll just meet you in your car then?”

Not waiting for Robb to acknowledge him, he moved quickly to get out of the room.

It was quiet for a number of minutes after Theon had left in a rush and Robb found himself clearing his throat and rushing to defend him, “He didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, cause he, uh. He sucks at not being a jerk when feelings are involved.”

“It's fine.” She sniffed again and looked away from both Grey Wind and Robb. She apologized again and took a deep breath and stopped petting the dog to hold her bookbag as close as she could, “I, um… I tried confessing to my friend and - and it… Didn't quite work out? And now… I don't think we're going to stay friends? And I think, maybe? Possibly? I'm pretty sure. I think I'm going to have to leave this school and my mom is going to kill me.”

She was hyperventilating at this point and Robb reached forward - for what, he didn’t know - but she gratefully took his hands.

“I know what it feels like to be rejected, but it might not turn out horrible?”

“You don’t understand!” She almost yelled before managing to restrain herself, “My friend… is- she’s a girl! My mom is going to kill me when she finds out!”

He nodded, “I understand. My father wasn’t,” shrugging non-committedly, Robb grimmanced at the next thought, “the most supportive when I first came out, but he’s better. We get along for the most part again, at least.”

“So there’s hope?”

“Oh, honey. There’s always hope! I even bet there’s hope with your friend?”

She pulled away, startling Grey Wind, who had started to fall asleep with his head on her leg, “Oh no, that’s… That’s burned all the way out. I already turned off my phone…”

“Are you being bullied? Do I need to get the principal involved?”

“Please don’t.” She winced, “I can handle it on my own.”

Petting Grey Wind once more, she pulled herself to her feet and wiped her eyes, “Thanks Mister Stark, I’m sorry for holding you up.”

He shook his head and waved it off, “Nonsense! I’m always happy to lend an ear.”

They walked out together, Grey Wind trotting behind them sluggishly, and Robb fidgeted a little more.

Once they were out of the school building, he turned to her and smiled, “It gets better, you know. You’ll find a friend that likes you back too, just the way you are.”

“Like you and Mister Greyjoy?”

He hummed an affirmative while ducking down to attach Grey Wind’s leash, not entirely paying attention to what was said before choking on his spit and snapping to attention, “What? Theon? No, we’re just buddies.”

She said nothing as she raised her eyebrow and smirked before walking away, “By Mister Stark! Have a good holiday!”

Huffing, Robb pouted before waving back and walking off toward his car and Theon, “Preposterous.”

He looked down at Grey Wind, who wasn’t bothered to acknowledge him or his ridiculous expression, “What would give her that impression?”

\--

Watching on in amused fascination, Robb folded his hands under his chin, having not touched his own plate as he watched Theon scarf down a burger much too large for his mouth with accompanying moans of satisfaction.

“You’re absolutely disgusting.” Robb couldn’t help the grin that formed around the words as Theon blinked back into the present and set his burger down, reaching for a napkin to wipe grease off his face and roll his eyes.

“You love me.”

“I tolerate you.”

“Why aren’t you eating?” Theon narrowed his eyes accusingly at Robb’s perfectly untouched plate, “You’re being weird.”

“I’m waiting for you to ask me for my food.”

He scoffed, almost offended, before doing a double take, “Nobody wants your stupid grilled fish anyway.”

“Splendid. Finish your disaster meal and I’ll start on mine.”

“Maybe don’t tell me what to do?” He huffed and picked his sandwich up again “What if I want dessert? You going to keep that from me again?”

“Oh my Gods, Theon. That was one time. Baby.” Picking up his fork, Robb eased the tines into the soft meat of the fish and broke it apart, pulling the meat and a bit of salad off the plate.

Theon bit into the burger with the same amount of enthusiasm as earlier, even if his sounds were over exaggerated.

It didn’t take much longer for either of them to finish their meal and Robb left a more than generous tip on the table before pulling himself to his feet, “Let’s go, loser.”

“As my king commands.” Jumping to his feet, Theon bowed at his waist and Robb shoved his head as he walked by.

“By the way? You’re driving.”

“Ooh, road trip. Where are we going? The Grande Stark Mansion in Freeze-My-Balls-Off, Nowhere?” Theon caught the keys that were tossed at him easily as he followed Robb out of the restaurant and toward the car. He jumped in through the open front window, smacking his head against the outside as he slid in and groaning as he shook it off before the passenger side door opened and Robb was telling Grey Wind to get in the back.

“That’s what you get for pretending you’re seventeen again.” He hopped in civilly and turned on the stereo, “Nah, just my house. The fam is coming later this week.”

“Why?” Theon scoffed as he started pulling out of the parking lot, “Your entire family is making a 10 hour drive just for funsies?”

Robb let out a guffaw, “It’s for the holidays. And it’s just my siblings.”

“Fuck.... Why are the holidays this week?”

“Time is an abstract linear construct that only moves forward?”

“Fucking nerd.” Theon grumbled, “Well I’m not crossing the fucking water to see my sister cause that means seeing my dad, so I’ll just chill at home with a bottle of red or two.”

“Nah, just chill at my place.” Robb looked into the back of the car, pushing Grey Wind’s butt out of the way to reach his bag and pull out his phone. He huffed as Theon’s face looked out at him from the lock screen before groaning, “Ah shit, Theon did you change my password again?”

“Guess what it is?” Theon grinned, pulling up to Robb’s house, “Wait, no, I’ll just tell you. It’s my birthday.”

“You’re so obsessed with yourself.” A chuckle, and the phone was unlocked.

“Really Theon? How many fucking pictures of yourself did you take?”

“Enough. Anyway, you said I can camp out here for the next two weeks?” He turned the car off and suddenly it was dead silent.

“Of course.”

\--

That night had Theon downing a bottle of wine by himself, just as he had predicted, putting his favorite show on the television and cuddling close to Robb on the couch.

Robb had had a few glasses himself and currently had one of his hands and his face in Theon’s hair.

“Robb?” He grumbled in acknowledgement, scratching his blunt nails down Theon’s hair until he felt the body shiver over him, “The dog is staring at us. He’s like… Right here.”

“He wants to get on the couch.”

“I don’t want him to.” Theon’s voice at this point was very whiny, seemingly almost close to tears if Robb had to guess.

“Go to bed, Wind.”

He heard a heavy huff and then the sound of heavy paws walking away.

“Better?”

“Loads.” He let out his own huff and hugged himself closer to Robb.

They were quiet again and Robb found himself starting to drift off, hand falling out of Theon’s hair by itself and his body tensed, legs stretching under them both before relaxing again.

“Robb.” Theon’s voice was soft and startled him a bit.

He blinked his eyes open and let out a hum, looking around at the dark room with only the television for light.

“Robb, I haven’t had sex in over six months.”

Still out of it, Robb turned back to him in confusion, “Why are you telling me this? Wait… Are you hard?”

Theon laughed a little before picking his head off of Robb’s chest to flash a smile at him, “Your hand is on my ass and it’s warm. Feels… Really nice. Especially since you’ve been kneading it like a kitten getting ready for bed.”

He couldn’t help it, his face felt like it had been lit aflame and he jerked his hands away from Theon completely, “Sorry!”

He whined and rubbed himself against Robb’s leg, “Don’t stop, Stark.”

“Theon, please. This is- This is- You’re on my leg.” He was stuttering, unable to process what exactly was happening. His head was clouding over with the implications of what could happen.

“I’m just fucking with you, Robb, jeez.” He laughed and pushed himself to a sitting position, stradling Robb’s lap. “I’m going to go jerk off in the shower. As if I’d fuck you.”

“You wouldn’t?” The words came out faster and with more pain than he intended and he sunk deeper into the couch, wanting it to swallow him up.

Theon paused and looked down at him, the glow of the television creating an almost halo around him. “Damn, Robb.” He gave Robb’s belly a pat, “Maybe you need to get laid too.”

Robb didn’t say anything, just looked up at his friend, feeling like the most awkward person on the planet as he looked back at him.

“Alright, I’m going to head upstairs then. I’ve got some things to work through, you’ve got some things to work through.” He smirked and Robb was confused before Theon stood up off of him and he became privy to the uncomfortable weight in his pants.

Robb was mortified and he rolled over, stuffing his face into the back of the couch, once again wanting the cushions to swallow him whole. Whining high in his throat, Robb hid from his body’s reactions, trying to think of anything but what had just happened.

They were just drunk, that’s all it was - the two empty wine bottles could attest to that - Theon was just drunk and messing around him.

“I need a drink. Maybe two.” He rolled off of the couch and groaned as he stood up, “Hey Wind? Need to go out?” He heard the water turn on for the shower upstairs and sighed before reaching for his glasses on the coffee table.

The jingling of dog tags and sharp nails on tile let Robb know that he had hit the nail on the head and he made his way into the kitchen to let the dog out before grabbing himself a beer. It was sweet, strawberry flavored, and he smiled at the first taste.

Grabbing the entire pack out of the fridge - just in case - he set it and his open drink on the counter in order to bring Grey Wind in.

Grey Wind flew through the door, sliding across the tile as he tried to stop before turning to look at Robb with wide eyes.

His own eyes widened and he had barely enough time to close the door, “Wind, no.”

But the dog didn’t listen. He turned around and took off into the living room as fast as his legs would carry him.

Robb groaned and grabbed his beers, taking a swig as he moved to follow his dog.

Grey Wind jumped on the back of the couch and stared at Robb before jumping down and running to the other side of the room.

“Kay, while you do that, I’m going to bed.”

Chugging the entire bottle right before stepping on the stairs was probably not the smartest idea, but he did it anyway. Swaying up the stairs, opening another bottle and starting to sing under his breath, Robb already started feeling better about what had happened earlier.

He could hear Grey Wind still running around downstairs and snorted, almost falling backwards, “Theon! Wait, wait, he’s sleeping, shhh.” Chastising himself he made it to the top of the stairs and hummed.

Almost running right into the door Theon’s guest bedroom, Robb knocked with the hand holding the open bottle of beer. “Shit… Spilled it. Need to drink that.”

The bottle was at his lips when Theon opened the door wearing nothing but a towel with a second one over his head, “‘Sup nerd? Drinking without me?”

The bottle almost fell from his fingers, eyes unable to climb higher than the poorly tied knot sitting precariously on Theon’s waist. “I’m gay. I’m really… Really gay.”

“Don’t lie, you’re into chicks too.” Theon laughed and reached forward to grab the six pack out of Robb’s hand, “Get in here before you hurt yourself.”

“Theon. Theon.” He waddled closer until he was leaning against him, “Wanna cuddle on you.”

“You’re drunk, Stark.” Theon chuckled, laughing harder when Robb nodded into his neck, “Very well. Allow me to catch up to you before we cuddle.”

Robb frowned and bit into Theon’s neck hard enough to bruise before snapping away and moving to the bed, “Cuddle myself.” Pouting, he crawled into the bed, managing not to fall over or spill his drink.

He heard Theon grumbling behind him, ignoring it in favor of plopping his face right into Theon’s pillow and inhaling.

A loud, yet muffled smack sounded out in the room and Robb jerked upright with a shriek, turning around to glare accusingly at his friend, “You just spanked me!”

“Yeah, and I’ll do it again if you don’t take off your glasses and get your beer out of my bed before you spill it.”

His face was right there, inches away from Robb’s face and Robb felt something flare in his chest. His breathing shook slightly as he held Theon’s gaze, “Do it again, Theon.”

“You’re plastered.” Robb watched Theon chew his bottom lip, didn’t realize he was holding back a smile this time.

“Did you really mean it when you said you wouldn’t fuck me earlier?”

Theon sighed and dropped his gaze before taking Robb’s glasses off for him, “You’re my best friend, idiot. I don’t want shit to get weird between us.”

“You’re emotionally constipated.” Robb was blunt, reaching up to pull Theon closer, “But it’s ok.”

“Give me this, you drunk son of a bitch.” Theon grumped, allowing himself to be pulled onto the bed but stealing the beer from Robb’s hand, “And you know I still don’t have any clothes on right? You ready to face the music if you make me sleep naked?”

Robb moaned under his breath, smooshing his face into Theon’s chest as he cuddled close, “Theon. Theon. Hot. Take off my pants.”

“You’re so whiny when you’re drunk, you know that?”

He shrugged, before pulling away to take off his shirt with one hand.

“Thought you wanted your pants off.”

“Do.” Robb pouted and looked down at his pants, “Complicated.”

With a sigh, Theon moved down the bed a bit to undo Robb’s belt, “That’s what you get for getting drunk with your ‘complicated’ pants on.”

“Sassy. I’ll bite you.” Robb was pouting, looking down and watching as his pants were yanked off and thrown across the room.

“Kinky.” Theon muttered under his breath. He gave Robb a half hearted slap on his thigh before moving back up the bed.

Robb moved forward and pressed his lips against Theon’s.

He froze in surprise before gently pulling away, “Robb, no.”

“You’re no fun.” Robb sighed and flopped back.

“And you’re drunk; we’ll just talk about this tomorrow. If you remember it.” He pulled off the bed and moved away for a few minutes before returning, this time with shorts on.

Robb was on the far side of the bed, curled into himself and Theon felt his stomach drop. “Robb?” He pulled the blanket down and sighed as he crawled in the bed and pulled Robb flush against his chest. “You smell like ass cause you didn’t shower.” He nosed his way into Robb’s curly hair.

\--

Robb woke in the morning with a fuzzy head and a dry mouth. He was uncomfortably hot and sweaty, but the weight around him was familiar and nice.

A soft breeze on his neck had Robb turning around - wincing at the way the movement made the pounding in his head amplify tenfold - to stuff his face in Theon’s bare chest.

“Still drunk, Stark?” Theon’s voice was garbled, half asleep and mouth full of pillowcase, and he kicked the blanket off of them, “If not you should make breakfast.”

“I don’t feel good.” Robb grumbled, rubbing his face back and forth on Theon’s chest.

“Fine, I’ll make something. It won’t be gourmet, though.” Theon rolled away, stretching across the bed.

“Can’t walk, you stay.” Robb was whining and clutching at his friend.

“I’m getting up. Also your dog needs to shit.”

“Fuck, you’re more than right. Can you let him out?”

“No. Get up, couch potato.” Taking his own advice, Theon pulled himself to his feet and tossed Robb’s glasses at his face.

“Can’t stand you.” Robb bemoaned and kicked the bed like a toddler as Theon made his way downstairs shaking his head.

His hair was a mess, he could feel it, and his back hated him for napping on the couch. Grey Wind picked his head up when Theon stepped off the last one. He nodded, “Dog.” before heading into the kitchen and to the refrigerator. “I’m too lazy for eggs, so i’m going to slap some cream cheese on some bagels.”

He tossed a pack of bagels and the cream cheese on the kitchen island and turned around just as Robb and Grey Wind padded into the kitchen. Looking over showed Robb in Theon’s shirt from yesterday, barefooted, and still rumpled over from terrible sleep.

He looked like death warmed over and for some reason Theon didn’t want to look away. He forced himself to, though, and to grab two plates and a knife to get the bagels ready to eat.

Robb opened the door and shoved Grey Wind’s lazy butt out before moving over to lie with his face and upper body on the island, “Theon?” He received a grunt in response, “My head hurts.”

“Sounds like a Robb Stark problem.” Theon sassed, half heartedly slapping cream cheese on a broken bagel half before tossing it on a plate.

“I kissed you.” Voice small and cautious, Robb kept his face hidden in the island top, “Last night. I kissed you.”

Theon paused for a fraction of a second before resuming his bagel duties, “And what about it?”

Robb shrugged and pulled himself up, folding his arms under his chest, “I don’t know? That… hasn’t happened before. I thought we should talk about it or something?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Theon smirked as he slid Robb’s plate toward him and licked his finger.

“Theon, c’mon I’m serious.”

“Ok, ok.” He raised his hands in surrender, “Yeah, you kissed me but I stopped you cause you were drunk off your ass. It’s not that big of a deal, man.”

“What…” Robb fiddled with the bagel on his plate, “What what you have done if I hadn’t been drunk?”

Theon froze and looked across the island, feeling as if it were an actual island, separating the two of them more than metaphorically. He licked his lips and turned around to put the cream cheese back in the fridge, pulling away from the conversation to get his bearings.

“I don’t know, Robb. But I’m not looking for anything complicated, and kissing my best friend is pretty complicated.” His hands were sweaty and he wanted to crack his knuckles, but refrained from doing so by rubbing his neck, “Maybe I should leave? Your family should be showing up later today anyway, right?”

He turned around and startled, finding Robb a breadth away from him, looking hurt but trying to hide it. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, Theon noted, and he could see the little bits of grey in his bright blue eyes.

“Dude, you don’t have to leave. You were just complaining about not having been laid in forever, and I haven’t either, so I was just thinking we could help each other out. I mean, I know I sexually revolt you or whatever, but it was just a thought.” He finished lamely with a slow one shoulder shrug

“You don’t-” Theon cut himself off and rubbed his temples, “Stark, you’re insanely beautiful, but I don’t want to screw things up with us.”

“Ok, what about just this weekend? No strings. Just me and you, purely physical. We go back to being strictly platonic once the holidays are over. It doesn’t bleed into work and it doesn’t get messy.”

Theon bit his lip and sighed, “I’ll think about it, nerd. Eat your gourmet breakfast and go shower.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this out! I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> We'll earn the E rating in the next chapter! Stay tuned folks~
> 
> Check me out on Tumblr (thespiritofeon)!


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